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Stop carrying around pen caps in your pants.

What could a pen cap possibly have to do with wiping your butt? Answer below.


We all have to go to the bathroom. Rich, poor, male, female, it's part of life. I think most people have a routine when it comes to personal hygiene. That routine stems partially from habit, partially from how we were raised and also from things we have learned over the years through trial and error. Wet wipes for me were a bit of a revelation. Wet wipes for number 2 are important to me for, well.... 2 main reasons:


  1. No irritation. I always tended to "go" more than other people I know and in an effort to get totally clean, I would wipe...ALOT. After awhile, the irritation that comes along with that much paperwork can be really uncomfortable.
  2. Cleanliness. Wipe fully with dry paper. Wipe until you are confident you did your best. Good job, pat yourself on the back. Bit of bad news unfortunately. Your butt is still really dirty. Do you feel confident enough to be intimate with someone? Hopefully not, because trust me, there is a lot left. Keep reading.


 In a study looking at the cleanliness of public swimming facilities, the CDC found that: “Each person has an average of 0.14 grams of fecal material on their perianal surface." This is the average person, on the average day. Check your underwear at the end of the day if you don't trust the government. Now after wiping completely, try a wet wipe. What comes off of your body will blow you away. Now, when you leave that same bathroom stall, you feel genuinely clean and confident enough for any activity. Confident enough for a long flight, a day in the office, or a long workout. It feels good to be clean; hence the huge market for soaps, body washes, creams etc. for sale in this country. With all this attention to cleanliness, how have we overlooked the ability to genuinely clean ourselves properly in public places? What good is it to take that shower every morning, lathered in fragrant oils from around the world, if you will spend the rest of your day wondering if you are above or below the CDC's average of 0.14 grams? How much is 0.14 grams anyway? Funny you should ask.


0.14 Grams multiplied by 7 days of the week = 0.98 grams, exactly the same as the pen cap.




"Where Are Recreational Water Illnesses (RWIs) Found?" Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 25 Apr. 2013. Web. 25 Nov. 2014.